Thinks: This is a Test
We interrupt this program so that we can make you miss part of the show, by conducting a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Remember this is just a test.
Beeeeeep … beeeeeeeeeeeeppp … beeeeeeeeep.
The preceeding was a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Had this been a real emergency, you would see instructions scrolling across the bottom of your screen simply telling you to, “get … the … fuck … out” or, “stay the fuck inside”.
The state of New York performs this stress test to ensure the functionality of the system; in case of a real emergency. Now that we have wasted your time, we return you to the show in progress (that you missed). Thank you for your time and patience.