Sensual Philosophy …

There’s a difference between sharing your thoughts, speaking, and sharing your heart — and for awhile, my heart has been rather … blank. I’ve felt sorrow and have conveyed it, but … that’s not what I’m trying to say. Regardless of those things, the warmth was gone, and this indifference is strangling my art. Reflecting, reminiscing, living vicariously through memories one by one mediums fade into yesterday as in my brain they act out a play in past tense … replaced by the need to make sense. Euphoria is a remote country without an airport, I lack a boat, bones too dense to float … so I attempt to send my message. I try to write, but I merely type.

Well, today I feel like writing.

However, my mind is blank. Though progressively since my “birth” a few months ago, I’ve shed my skin … my defenses, my protection … and have become indifferent in different ways towards my offenses. So I guess this suits, because it may be aimless to you. We’ll just figure it out when we get there. Cool? — Cool.
Turn . your . volume . up

Just now, to appease my block … I decided to walk one. I stepped outside for a sec to reflect while I smoked a black and mild. Walking from the store, an umbrella shields me from the moisture in the sky. Introspection is injected, as a woman walks by without protection. Fifty feet away from my destination, she seemed to need it more than me. Yet, I didn’t even offer it. I could’ve changed my course and walked with her for a bit … but I didn’t. Did I really have something so important to do? Something more significant than that moment? Is what you desire to do, more important than what life gives you? Why is the goal more of a focus than the journey? We move to the beat, instead of the melody and I must ask … how selfish are we?

Have you ever watched rain drop?

Collected into a pool, it ripples and reflects … you. Life in a cell-ophane existence, as surroundings move and people walk through the recording of it’s surface. If you were to replay the moments inbetween your gaze you may see more than yourself. Within every veneer there’s much depth. However, our eyes … our vision leaves us blind, unable to see clearly the reality outside of our perception. So attached to points, that we can no longer see the point.

What about a single drop?

We can see it falling, descending and crashing, splashing into … refractions. Yet, if we stop and retrace it’s steps we may see a woman there. Where did the drop come from? Her? The sky? How do you know? Have you ever tried to understand it’s existence? In the process of doing so, do you neglect the origin? Isn’t that too much to think about? You don’t have time to be worried about such inconsequential things, right? We’re too focused on our own agendas aren’t we? Selfish.

We are born alone, and die alone.

Do we? Have you convinced yourself that is the truth? Didn’t someone birth you? Wasn’t she there at the moment even if she abandoned you after it? When you die, even if no one else is around … aren’t you still carrying those who travelled with you prior to that moment, even if we previously neglect the memories? Why does life flash before your eyes? What will you see in the moment it does? Are you really alone? Aren’t the memories of moments company in a way? In that moment, will you smile? We can focus on ourselves, but regardless of how our eyes are blinded by solitude … in the beginning, and the end we never stand alone.

So … why do we choose to walk alone?

In the moments we don’t, do we make the other’s journey a walk through hell? Are you abrasive? Have you ever watched rain drop? A person walks without protection, from you. The drop which descends, are you the cause? Did it come from the sky or them? How do you know? Do you even care about the rain you create? What if I said, the drop silently came from you? Will you care then? Will those words resonate, and reverberate? How about this picture?

You are in a relationship, shifting through stages and conflicts. You stop yourself from doing something, because they didn’t do something. In that moment, you wanted to do it but stopped yourself because of what you thought. Does not doing it, really make you happy, or does it just pacify your perception / perspective? Regardless, of the reason why you stopped or the situation … you stopped yourself from doing something which would actually make you happy, and sought something which you “think” will make you happy. All we have in life are defined in moments, because that’s all we allow.

We limit moments.

We limit the number of moments, and the moment itself. Does your brain get in the way? Are you too focused on the point, that you cannot see the point? The moment you stop yourself from doing something, you are lying to yourself. Who can fool you better than you? Why play such games of pain? We move too quickly to pay attention, and when we pause it catches up to us. When you pay attention to the rain, you’ve paused … and the rain which falls comes from you, and may be created by you. Have you ever paid attention? When you look into the pool, do you see only yourself? Do you unknowingly choose to walk alone, because of the reality you create? When you look into the pool, do you only see others? Blaming people for the way things are? Paying attention to the reflected scenery, when you are also a part of that scene. Do you see yourself? Or are you too focused on everyone else?

Pay attention to the rain.

Try to understand it’s origin, but don’t neglect it’s destination. Perceive the pool, the drop, the drops, the point, and the points. You merely convince yourself that you’re too busy. Yet, is your destination more important than your journey? What happens if you never get there? What will you see when your life flashes by? Will you smile? Listen to the melody, the refracted and repeating themes.

Have you ever watched rain drop?

A rhetorical question I ask …

myself.

- Prasand J.