Sensual Philosophy …

“Thong, bikini, boyshorts, g-string, briefs, or bloomers?”

Pick one. Then …

Turn . your . volume . up

One’s preferences can mirror their personality and at times their demeanor. The question that I posed, is one that I’ve been randomly asking for some time. I don’t remember when, or why I originally started asking it … but as I trace the responses I know it’s been at least three years. At one period, I asked it because I wanted to see if the person’s tastes were similar to my own. I mean, it was never just a question about underwear. It was actually a series of questions asked quickly, and randomly. The answer was to be given without time to think about it. The more time that it’s thought about, the more skewed the results. As such, no variables or details were given in advance. However, that didn’t stop some people from saying “it depends on what I’m wearing”, or choosing multiple items.

It usually took awhile for the person to pick one without giving it much thought. So I’d hasten my pace with each series until they were instinctly responding. I remember one such case with a Mexican woman, over two years ago. She enjoyed it immensely and was very disappointed when my mind could only chuck out ellipses. We went at it for no less than 20 minutes non-stop. She later asked me why I did that (since I randomly began doing so in the midst of a conversation). I said that many people like to believe they are a certain way … when they are not. While others put up a facade. Regardless, if you get a person to a point where they are purely reacting … as a group, their answers are quite definitive. She asked me to elaborate. I ended up breaking down the various mentalities, natures, and perceptions … reflective of the choices made.

There are too many variables as to “why” a person chose that item. For example, “around the house, do you wear socks, slippers, or walk barefoot?” The person may wear socks because they do not like their feet to get dirty. They may wear them because they like the warmth, or the feeling of cotton against their skin. The first person may desire security, or is paranoid. The second may be affectionate, or insecure. The third may be sexual, or sensual. The one who walks barefoot … sensual or carefree. However, to understand which one a person truly is … no single answer is definitive. Many blind assumptions are being made. So depending on the preceeding choice, the questions I ask in succession adapts … as it’s always catered to that individual. Those successive questions give clarity or correction to the previous.

In a few cases, the contradictions were so major that I had to pause and ask for clarity (or maybe I made the wrong assumption sometime earlier). Regardless, after all of that it’s still nothing more than a possibility. A person might have those preferences due to habit, but their true nature may be completely different from what they were taught or how they were raised. However, when asked about intimate items or things consistently within one’s personal space … it lessens the room for error. Typically I restricted the questions to their bedroom, personal bathroom (if they had one), etc. If I asked about underwear, I usually complimented that with a series of questions about shoes. “Heels, flats, sandals, sneakers, timbs, or boots?” Or even handbags / pocketbooks.

Sometimes it was more than a list. “How many pillows do you have on your bed? Do you remove most of them before you go to sleep? Do you sleep with a body pillow? Do you have stuffed animals on your bed? Do you have any in your bedroom at all? How many mirrors are in your bedroom? Count them.” I imagine in those moments, the survey may have seemed like an interrogation. Yet, I have never encountered a person who disliked that or did not answer. It’s possible that the presentation made the difference. However, it still wasn’t something I asked “just anyone.” I’ve only ever asked it of strangers or people I didn’t know very well, but intuitively knew it would be okay with. Ultimately, it ended up being entertaining for both of us.

I enjoyed thinking about the various possibilities, tangents, and possible supportive questions to be able to type the next set of questions in less than five seconds. I didn’t give myself time to overthink it either. I wanted my reactions to be as raw as theirs. I don’t know how I understood those things, or where the reactions came from … never really thought about it or questioned it. Although I was a psychology major in college … I’ve actually never read any of the course material. All of the tests I took, I answered purely based on what I learned through observation or life. Regardless, I really enjoyed those moments where the person quickly spat a single answer with no excuses or justifications. Those series flew by faster than a normal and consistent conversation would have. Though somewhere along the line, I stopped doing the live surveys and my usual initial question morphed into something else entirely.

—

“What color, cut, and material panties are you wearing?”

What was your reaction to that question? Did you laugh at my idiocy? Were you bothered by it, or did you think nothing of it? When I initially started asking that I didn’t really acknowledge the types of reactions. It wasn’t until my friend Nicolette responded to it negatively that I truly took notice. Since her reaction was completely unexpected. Though as I replayed the previous moments where I asked others, I realized that their reactions were negative as well. This to me did not make any sense what-so-ever. I mean, I can understand that it’s one of the major taboos … but I could not understand “why”, and I was curious as to “how major?”

So with my child-like curiosity. I ventured to understand it. I knew it was a question which would invoke a negative reaction in most people. As such, I only asked the question of people who intimately know me … or people who I honestly thought it “wouldn’t” invoke such a reaction in. I was extremely surprized by what happened. Every single person blew it totally out of porportion. This is what I expected of people who do not know me, or have never interacted with me. However, I was asking this question of people I have taken showers with. People I have seen butt-ass naked, like it was nothing. People who share things with me that are so intimate, they have literally never said it to anyone else.

Yet, the reactions were “you jerk”, “dick”, “asshole”, “fuck you”, etc.

I was left with a “wow”, reaction. I wouldn’t have predicted that in a million years. I mean, some people even cut me off / out of their life because I was “such a creep.” That of course bothered me, but it didn’t stop me from continuing. I am not one to fear the consequences of my actions. However, it awoken me to the reality that there isn’t a single person I know who does not have some type of defense up with me. Regardless of how intimate someone may be, even if it’s the most they’ve ever been open with anyone … they still have defenses up. I guess I was naive. However, I wanted to find at least one person who wouldn’t react in such a way.

Some reactions were milder than others, but I believe in my life such a woman doesn’t exist. I have concluded that although some people may answer it without requiring justification, they will still at least be initially taken back by the question. Yet, I can’t understand “why”. Maybe it’s merely because I don’t want to. However, allow me to elucidate my perspective on the question.

We live in a society where we see underwear ads on the street. Where the lingerie section or department, isn’t exclusive nor closed off. Where men receive subscriptions of Victoria’s Secret … more than women. Where it was a “fad” for a woman to have her thong showing out of the top of her jeans. Where panty shots are common in cartoons (see Ecchi). Where people ask questions like, “what’s your favorite position?” Where although some women will not permit a sexual conversation initially … it’s still a “standard” or consistent question which is asked. Where people will discuss things infinitely more intimate. However, a question like “what color panties are you wearing?” is significantly more taboo.

To almost every person I essentially said, “you know I have a vivid imagination. If I wanted to imagine your underwear, trust me … I do not need to ask you that question. What are you preventing? What are you protecting? Why are you reacting in such a manner? Do you not know me better than that?” No one answered those questions. Instead, most of them just answered the panties question. The only ones that didn’t were those who refused to even listen to me any further. My observation is that every single person I asked that question, because it was unexpected … they immediately or instinctively went back to their childish or immature perception of it.

They didn’t have time to think about it. Their reaction was pure. With some people the reaction was so raw, that it was overwhelming and they couldn’t think about afterwards … or … if they did, the thoughts they had merely supported how much of “creep” I was. The mildest reaction was from Jessica Marie, and I love her reaction. Though make no mistake about it, it still bothered her. Even after she knew my justification. So I eventually stopped asking it (I used to ask her it randomly long before Nicolette’s reaction). Is Jessica Marie the most secure woman I know? I wonder. Maybe JennaJenna reviews would’ve responded mildly as well. It also, still bothered Nicolette, even after she was able to answer it (of course I asked on more than one occasion, not because the answer mattered but because the reaction did).

Seriously … can someone tell me what I’m missing. What I seem to be neglecting? I must be missing something, cause this just doesn’t make any sense to me. Is the problem merely the approach? If I asked any question in such a manner, would it invoke the same response? “What color socks are you wearing?” Yeah, I think that might weird them out as well. Though, can someone explain to me why that is such a violation? Why it’s reacted to with such hostility, even from people who should know me better than that? “I’ve seen you butt naked, I’ve even given you a bikini wax, yet I’m a jerk the moment I ask what color underwear you have on … even if i was the one who picked them out this morning as you were getting dressed.” Models even walk around naked in front of strangers, but still that question is taboo.

I’ll stop playfully asking that question, but … someone please explain / enlighten me. Also, is there anything that’s equally as taboo? If so what is it or what are they? Do you think that it shouldn’t be so taboo with the way our society / world is? Lastly, if I’ve ever asked you the series of questions / freestyled survey … jog my memory please, and let me know that I have.

Anyway … Gone.

- Prasand J.