Sensual Philosophy …

This blog entry is one part of a series of three conversations that I had with my ex Ria Yoshida. The conversation was forwarded (via myspace mail) to others either because I thought they would find it interesting, or because they were going through something similar. That eventually became tedious, so I decided to post it as a blog entry. However, this entry is not meant for public consumption. It is a tailored technique.

Whenever I am guiding, I conform to the person I’m speaking to. Sometimes I’ll be passive, other times forceful. With it being customized, the information contained may serve no purpose to you. On the contrary, if when reading this entry it strikes a chord, resonates, or causes you to reflect / introspect I recommend that you do not read it out of sequence nor consecutively (the conversations are progressive). Give it time to settle before moving onto the next.

The conversations take place within four days. However, adhering to the four days isn’t necessary. Though I do recommend that you read part two no sooner than the day after you read part one, and part three a day after part two (preferrably a few days). Upon completion, if you’d like … I am open to discuss it further. However, at the end of the series there will be links and other relevant information if you desire to pursue it independently. Anyway, I hope you at least enjoy the read. Later.

- Prasand J.

Segment: Security Applied … Day 2.

Session Start (Prasand J.:Ria Yoshida): Wed Nov 14 18:58:54 2007

[06:58:55 PM] Ria Yoshida: hi

[06:58:55 PM] *** Auto-response sent to Ria Yoshida: “The search for perfection ends the moment it begins.” -Prasand

[06:59:07 PM] Ria Yoshida: it’s good to be home :)
[06:59:25 PM] Ria Yoshida: I’m used to always doing something.. going somewhere… seeing someone…
[06:59:39 PM] Ria Yoshida: but just coming home… alone…
[06:59:44 PM] Ria Yoshida: interesting :)
[06:59:49 PM] Ria Yoshida: and quite relaxing
[07:00:24 PM] Ria Yoshida: though I was a bit anxious on the train… feeling like someones about to call me and I’m missing out or somehting…o_O
[07:00:30 PM] Ria Yoshida: O_o
[07:00:48 PM] Ria Yoshida: hrm.. thta’s not coming up as a face… lol
[07:01:03 PM] Ria Yoshida: you the one where the eye balls are moving or ones bigger than the other
[07:01:07 PM] Ria Yoshida: my favorite :D
[07:01:28 PM] Ria Yoshida: I just signed papers today for my job
[07:01:34 PM] Ria Yoshida: so it’s officiiiiiiiaaaaaaal
[07:01:35 PM] Ria Yoshida: lol
[07:01:59 PM] Ria Yoshida: I started last week Tuesday… I’ve never worked in a place for over a week without them knowing my SS
[07:02:05 PM] Ria Yoshida: or if I’m legal lol
[07:02:19 PM] Ria Yoshida: ….I don’t even know hoe much I’m getting paid
[07:02:20 PM] Ria Yoshida: lol
[07:02:36 PM] Ria Yoshida: I know the ball park but not the official :P
[07:02:59 PM] Ria Yoshida: ah well… I’ve calculated that if I can bring home at leaste 20,000 a year after taxes I’m good
[07:03:08 PM] Ria Yoshida: and know I’ll be making more than that so….
[07:03:27 PM] Ria Yoshida: blu ble blah bla
[07:04:41 PM] Ria Yoshida: I heated up some canned soup and wasn’t happy with the original flavor so added seasoning and it came out very spicy :X
[07:04:47 PM] Ria Yoshida: my assholes gonna burn
[07:04:57 PM] Ria Yoshida: yes, that was very important information for yo uto know!
[07:04:59 PM] Ria Yoshida: :D

[12:19:39 AM] Prasand J.: lol, derelict
[12:19:46 AM] Ria Yoshida: :D
[12:20:24 AM] Ria Yoshida: is [name removed] back open? have you hear about/from your mom?
[12:20:37 AM] Ria Yoshida: i left her message
[12:20:42 AM] Prasand J.: no, I haven’t.
[12:20:42 AM] Ria Yoshida: will prob try her again
[12:20:54 AM] Ria Yoshida: :/
[12:21:05 AM] Prasand J.: she’s coming here on sunday
[12:21:29 AM] Ria Yoshida: :)
[12:21:31 AM] Ria Yoshida: again?
[12:21:32 AM] Ria Yoshida: cool
[12:22:11 AM] Prasand J.: yeah, probably to see Diedra or however you spell her name
[12:22:48 AM] Ria Yoshida: ah
[12:22:58 AM] Ria Yoshida: she lives in NC :)
[12:23:00 AM] Ria Yoshida: right right
[12:23:23 AM] Ria Yoshida: ran into Biggums and thus contacted your mom
[12:23:29 AM] Ria Yoshida: awwwwww
[12:23:33 AM] Ria Yoshida: :P
[12:23:38 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[12:23:50 AM] Ria Yoshida: i love sappy romatic stories
[12:23:55 AM] Ria Yoshida: i watched
[12:24:00 AM] Ria Yoshida: tristan and isolde
[12:24:05 AM] Ria Yoshida: recently for the first time
[12:24:11 AM] Ria Yoshida: that movie just pissed me off
[12:24:25 AM] Ria Yoshida: fuck a romeo and juliet and tristan and isolde
[12:24:27 AM] Ria Yoshida: eh
[12:24:36 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[12:24:43 AM] Prasand J.: I don’t even remember what happened in that movie
[12:24:46 AM] Prasand J.: I’ve seen it though
[12:25:10 AM] Ria Yoshida: tristan wins his love isolde unknowingly for his king
[12:25:21 AM] Prasand J.: oh that reminds me … in your movies folder, there should be a “movies.txt” file
[12:25:21 AM] Ria Yoshida: who raised him like a son
[12:25:24 AM] Prasand J.: send me that
[12:25:42 AM] Prasand J.: just drag it onto the IM and it should send
[12:25:56 AM] Ria Yoshida: k

[12:27:13 AM] Prasand J.: odd
[12:27:23 AM] Prasand J.: open the file, copy and paste the contents into the IM
[12:27:30 AM] Ria Yoshida: k
[12:27:45 AM] Ria Yoshida: Evan Almighty – 09/22-07
Georgia Rules – 09/22-07
Superman / Doomsday – 09/22-07
Doctor Strange – The Sorcerer Supreme – 09/23-07
Live Free or Die Hard 4 – 09/23-07
I Think I Love My Wife – 09/23-07
Species The Awakening – 09/23-07
Stardust – 09/24-07
The Holiday – 09/24-07
Stranger Than Fiction – 09/27-07
Sunshine – 09/28-07
Crank – 09/29-07
Gridiron Gang – 10/01-07
The Transporter – 10/04-07
Cashback
Full of It
Reign Over Me

[12:27:55 AM] Prasand J.: k, thank you
[12:28:00 AM] Ria Yoshida: your selcome
[12:28:06 AM] Ria Yoshida: *welsome
[12:28:10 AM] Ria Yoshida: lol
[12:28:15 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[12:28:15 AM] Ria Yoshida: *welcome
[12:28:28 AM] Ria Yoshida: i’m computer dislexic
[12:28:36 AM] Ria Yoshida: dyslexic
[12:29:03 AM] Ria Yoshida: i was secure today in my healthyness
[12:29:09 AM] Ria Yoshida: that i ate dunkin donuts
[12:29:10 AM] Ria Yoshida: lol
[12:29:11 AM] Ria Yoshida: :P
[12:29:23 AM] Ria Yoshida: Kein had spoiled me last night with some munchkins
[12:29:32 AM] Ria Yoshida: and had some left oevr today… la la laaaaa
[12:30:01 AM] Prasand J.: lol, cute
[12:30:21 AM] Prasand J.: I have to email him, to let him know about the status of the project
[12:30:26 AM] Prasand J.: kinda left him hanging on that
[12:30:30 AM] Ria Yoshida: :)
[12:30:48 AM] Ria Yoshida: he just started an internship and has lots of school work
[12:30:52 AM] Ria Yoshida: but surely email him
[12:31:02 AM] Ria Yoshida: he’ll let you know if he already has too much on his plate
[12:31:06 AM] Ria Yoshida: i guess
[12:31:11 AM] Prasand J.: where is he interning, doing?
[12:31:22 AM] Ria Yoshida: with a company called [name removed]
[12:31:28 AM] Ria Yoshida: or however its spelled
[12:31:31 AM] Ria Yoshida: its paid
[12:31:47 AM] Ria Yoshida: good for him…. it’s a
[12:31:52 AM] Ria Yoshida: …..he told me
[12:31:53 AM] Ria Yoshida: lol
[12:32:22 AM] Ria Yoshida: it’s not an advertising firm cause I know he interviewed with the mand really wanted that one
[12:32:35 AM] Ria Yoshida: this one is graphics related
[12:32:43 AM] Ria Yoshida: i dunno for sure :P
[12:32:52 AM] Prasand J.: cool.
[12:32:55 AM] Ria Yoshida: he said he wouldn’t wan to work there
[12:33:00 AM] Ria Yoshida: *want
[12:33:17 AM] Ria Yoshida: just temporary but appreciates it so he knows what not to look for in a job
[12:33:20 AM] Ria Yoshida: very important
[12:33:36 AM] Ria Yoshida: :)

[12:34:48 AM] Ria Yoshida: question…
[12:35:09 AM] Ria Yoshida: the way to change things abotu myself
[12:35:22 AM] Ria Yoshida: is first accepting and comming to terms with them
[12:35:40 AM] Ria Yoshida: and finding that ‘balance’
[12:35:54 AM] Ria Yoshida: than grow into something of a preference
[12:36:00 AM] Ria Yoshida: not really ‘change’ per se
[12:36:02 AM] Ria Yoshida: ?
[12:36:04 AM] Prasand J.: just because we accept something, doesn’t mean it has to remain the same
[12:36:09 AM] Prasand J.: it is change
[12:36:16 AM] Ria Yoshida: :)
[12:36:18 AM] Prasand J.: it’s just that the reason for change is different
[12:36:32 AM] Prasand J.: before we would’ve changed due to ridicule
[12:36:45 AM] Prasand J.: but after acceptance … change is due to idle desires
[12:37:58 AM] Ria Yoshida: :)

[12:38:15 AM] Ria Yoshida: i get what you mean by idle desire… but can desire really be idle?
[12:38:23 AM] Ria Yoshida: lol… it’s kind of contradicting
[12:38:32 AM] Prasand J.: yes
[12:38:41 AM] Prasand J.: the difference in the type of desire is
[12:38:48 AM] Ria Yoshida: it means still desire…?
[12:38:48 AM] Prasand J.: in one case we find the desire to be important
[12:39:09 AM] Prasand J.: but in the latter it’s not that it’s important, it’s just something we want to do in that moment
[12:39:13 AM] Prasand J.: that isn’t to say
[12:39:17 AM] Prasand J.: that even after seeing the truth
[12:39:31 AM] Prasand J.: there aren’t some changes you won’t find to be important
[12:39:33 AM] Prasand J.: for example
[12:39:39 AM] Prasand J.: with me accepting the fact that I’m a fighter
[12:39:46 AM] Prasand J.: I still felt it was important for me to love
[12:39:51 AM] Prasand J.: and change myself in that regard
[12:39:57 AM] Prasand J.: but with acceptance
[12:40:05 AM] Prasand J.: the number of important changes we have or desire to make
[12:40:11 AM] Prasand J.: becomes significantly smaller
[12:40:19 AM] Prasand J.: and we can focus on those things more readily

[12:42:18 AM] Prasand J.: “fighting isn’t bad, but I still do not want to fight those I love. Though why is it that I do not want to fight them? Is it merely because I was taught otherwise? Am I merely following the beliefs of someone else? No, I believe that to fight those we love is to not love them at all. I want to be able to love them.”
[12:42:26 AM] Prasand J.: it’s not a perception of right nor wrong
[12:42:30 AM] Prasand J.: it’s a desire
[12:42:35 AM] Prasand J.: it’s important in that case
[12:42:42 AM] Prasand J.: but other things such as
[12:42:50 AM] Prasand J.: “I want those shoes”
[12:42:56 AM] Prasand J.: are idle

[12:44:45 AM] Prasand J.: idle doesn’t necessarily mean “still”
[12:45:00 AM] Prasand J.: http://www.answers.com/idle&r=67
[12:45:21 AM] Prasand J.: it lacks substance
[12:45:28 AM] Prasand J.: hence why it doesn’t affect your state
[12:45:31 AM] Prasand J.: if you get it or not
[12:45:41 AM] Prasand J.: it won’t break you to not do it or not get it
[12:46:00 AM] Prasand J.: then it can also be
[12:46:09 AM] Prasand J.: to move lazilly and without purpose
[12:46:22 AM] Prasand J.: thus negating the perception of “idle” being “still”

[12:49:39 AM] Ria Yoshida: yea, I had the google definition page already open :P
[12:49:51 AM] Ria Yoshida: i see isee
[12:50:15 AM] Prasand J.: idle desires are the only way to be content with what you have, while still wanting
[12:50:38 AM] Prasand J.: “I want to go blah blah blah” “no.” “okay.”

[12:52:14 AM] Prasand J.: it’s a dream which does not conflict with reality

[12:58:52 AM] Prasand J.: oh you can delete that file if you want

Session Close (Ria Yoshida): Thu Nov 15 00:59:03 2007
Session Start (Prasand J.:Ria Yoshida): Thu Nov 15 01:00:16 2007

[01:00:18 AM] Ria Yoshida: k

[01:00:18 AM] *** Auto-response sent to Ria Yoshida: “The search for perfection ends the moment it begins.” -Prasand

[01:00:19 AM] Ria Yoshida: stacy’s interesting :)))))))))
[01:00:26 AM] Ria Yoshida: just started myspace mailing…
[01:00:27 AM] Prasand J.: =)
[01:00:44 AM] Prasand J.: did you read her page / blogs?
[01:00:46 AM] Ria Yoshida: you’re madness has meaning
[01:00:49 AM] Ria Yoshida: !!!
[01:00:54 AM] Ria Yoshida: briefly
[01:01:00 AM] Prasand J.: good enough
[01:01:03 AM] Ria Yoshida: her page yes.. i likey
[01:01:42 AM] Prasand J.: she sold me when I read the line that she’s the queen of TMI
[01:01:51 AM] Prasand J.: @ being open
[01:02:03 AM] Ria Yoshida: what’s TMI?
[01:02:08 AM] Prasand J.: too much information
[01:02:12 AM] Ria Yoshida: o right
[01:02:19 AM] Ria Yoshida: :)))))
[01:02:40 AM] Prasand J.: she’s a Libra like tiffany
[01:02:47 AM] Prasand J.: but is more open and honest than tiffany
[01:03:14 AM] Prasand J.: Kristen is also a libra … but more needy than Tiffany

[01:04:49 AM] Prasand J.: Libra’s are definitely social people
[01:04:57 AM] Prasand J.: and since she lives in your area
[01:05:01 AM] Prasand J.: I thought it would be good
[01:05:03 AM] Prasand J.: =)
[01:05:57 AM] Prasand J.: oh yeah she read the entire dialogue that we had yesterday or was that the day before?
[01:06:05 AM] Prasand J.: cause I ended up sending it to Stephanie
[01:06:11 AM] Prasand J.: since we were talking about security
[01:06:15 AM] Prasand J.: and I think that was the first time
[01:06:22 AM] Prasand J.: I ever covered the topic completely
[01:06:28 AM] Prasand J.: so I just sent her the whole convo
[01:06:43 AM] Prasand J.: and because I was talking about the same thing to Stacy
[01:06:48 AM] Prasand J.: about her situations, etc
[01:07:05 AM] Prasand J.: and realized that I was rather cryptic about what I told her
[01:07:12 AM] Prasand J.: I asked if she wanted to read it
[01:07:18 AM] Prasand J.: she said yes, so I forwarded it to her
[01:09:35 AM] Ria Yoshida: :)
[01:09:49 AM] Ria Yoshida: cool
[01:09:59 AM] Prasand J.: =)

[01:10:41 AM] Ria Yoshida: I’m like you in regards to sharing
[01:10:45 AM] Ria Yoshida: unlike Tiff
[01:10:52 AM] Prasand J.: it’s funny how many people perceived me to be the most egotistical person they know … when the reality is I’m probably the most community-oriented person they know
[01:11:04 AM] Ria Yoshida: if there really is somehting I don’t want you to say I would say so…. but there really isn’t lol
[01:11:15 AM] Prasand J.: the irony is … those people who perceived me to be egotistical … like Nicolette, and Bobby
[01:11:21 AM] Prasand J.: the reason why they perceived it
[01:11:35 AM] Prasand J.: was because they were the ones who were egotistical in those moments
[01:12:38 AM] Prasand J.: but like all of that coincides with my attentive nature
[01:12:41 AM] Prasand J.: like when we go out
[01:12:53 AM] Prasand J.: how I try not to neglect others
[01:12:58 AM] Prasand J.: when I’m in entertaining mode
[01:13:30 AM] Prasand J.: those who aren’t willing to do so are being egotistical, or thinking of themselves

[01:14:23 AM] Prasand J.: but know
[01:14:29 AM] Prasand J.: even this act is egotistical
[01:14:36 AM] Prasand J.: the fact that I’m dividing myself from them
[01:14:50 AM] Prasand J.: the difference is
[01:14:55 AM] Prasand J.: it’s not a negative judgement
[01:15:02 AM] Prasand J.: I don’t perceive it to be “wrong”
[01:15:11 AM] Prasand J.: or their selfishness to be wrong
[01:16:06 AM] Prasand J.:

Prasand J.: it’s always
Prasand J.: wrong, bad, and worse
Prasand J.: at all times
Prasand J.: people want to be right, good, or better
Prasand J.: but are not willing to see
Prasand J.: how they are wrong, bad, or worse
Prasand J.: because they are egotistical
Prasand J.: and want to perceive themselves as above others
Prasand J.: better than others
Prasand J.: because they are truly insecure
Prasand J.: therefore
Prasand J.: your questions of what if it feels wrong
Prasand J.: pointless
Prasand J.: and it’s just your insecurities playing with you
Prasand J.: because of your uncertainty

[01:16:15 AM] Prasand J.: when I divided you that was egotistical
[01:16:22 AM] Prasand J.: I could say the same things
[01:16:26 AM] Prasand J.: using “we”
[01:16:42 AM] Prasand J.: or omitting “your”
[01:16:54 AM] Prasand J.: instead of “your questions of what if it feels wrong”
[01:17:03 AM] Prasand J.: “questions on if it feels wrong”
[01:17:23 AM] Prasand J.: “and it’s just our insecurities playing with us”
[01:17:36 AM] Prasand J.: “because of uncertainty”
[01:18:09 AM] Prasand J.: such an act is to unify with the other

[01:21:55 AM] Ria Yoshida: :)
[01:22:04 AM] Ria Yoshida: me love you long time p~chyaaan
[01:22:11 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[01:22:45 AM] Ria Yoshida: and with all the shit I’ve read/learned/experienced
[01:22:53 AM] Ria Yoshida: I’m like, ok I got this
[01:23:02 AM] Ria Yoshida: insecurity and ego can’t touch me!
[01:23:06 AM] Ria Yoshida: ha!
[01:23:08 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[01:23:09 AM] Ria Yoshida: it was just that…
[01:23:20 AM] Ria Yoshida: ….fucking ego and insecurity
[01:23:25 AM] Ria Yoshida: creeping on me…!
[01:23:41 AM] Ria Yoshida: and I guess losing myself to those around me
[01:23:45 AM] Ria Yoshida: it rubs off
[01:23:57 AM] Ria Yoshida: Tiff, Henry, family, etc
[01:24:17 AM] Ria Yoshida: and also goes to show
[01:24:20 AM] Prasand J.: all of those people are overwhelming
[01:24:25 AM] Ria Yoshida: lmao
[01:24:35 AM] Prasand J.: tiffany is a very influential and controlling person
[01:24:43 AM] Prasand J.: henry @ drama / emotional bullshit
[01:24:48 AM] Prasand J.: then family @ loud
[01:24:55 AM] Ria Yoshida: lmao!
[01:25:22 AM] Ria Yoshida: and I’m interacting with Bobby on a regular right now
[01:25:23 AM] Ria Yoshida: :P
[01:25:27 AM] Ria Yoshida: woo hoo
[01:25:42 AM] Prasand J.: that’s cool
[01:25:44 AM] Ria Yoshida: oh the pleasure I get from pain
[01:25:47 AM] Prasand J.: though why “woo hoo”?
[01:25:59 AM] Ria Yoshida: woo hoo at overwhelming
[01:26:09 AM] Prasand J.: oh, lol
[01:26:14 AM] Prasand J.: well if you find security
[01:26:22 AM] Prasand J.: you’d have no problem handling bobby
[01:26:45 AM] Prasand J.: all of the issues that I stated before which would arise
[01:26:58 AM] Prasand J.: wouldn’t exist
[01:27:13 AM] Prasand J.: since once a person finds security
[01:27:19 AM] Prasand J.: issues cease to exist
[01:27:28 AM] Ria Yoshida: :)
[01:27:30 AM] Ria Yoshida: true
[01:27:42 AM] Ria Yoshida: jOseph said aloooong time ago
[01:27:50 AM] Ria Yoshida: the most attractive quality in a woman is
[01:27:57 AM] Ria Yoshida: being confident in her insecurities
[01:28:07 AM] Ria Yoshida: and I take it
[01:28:09 AM] Ria Yoshida: as
[01:28:29 AM] Ria Yoshida: just that without the whole he said what about a woman
[01:28:47 AM] Ria Yoshida: confidence in insecurity…. finding security
[01:29:06 AM] Ria Yoshida: is c..secure?
[01:29:19 AM] Ria Yoshida: it’s not conceited
[01:29:23 AM] Prasand J.: not necessary .. but yes
[01:29:29 AM] Ria Yoshida: i see
[01:29:29 AM] Prasand J.: however
[01:29:43 AM] Prasand J.: confidence in insecurity is more so
[01:29:51 AM] Prasand J.: a person who accepts their insecurities
[01:30:01 AM] Prasand J.: and is okay with being insecure
[01:30:13 AM] Ria Yoshida: ah
[01:30:31 AM] Prasand J.: remember accepting oneself without ridule or judgment
[01:30:44 AM] Ria Yoshida: oy vey
[01:30:48 AM] Prasand J.: it’s not “bad” to be insecure
[01:30:51 AM] Ria Yoshida: my family is jewish dude
[01:31:02 AM] Ria Yoshida: they invented ridicule and judgement!
[01:31:10 AM] Ria Yoshida: lol
[01:31:10 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[01:31:24 AM] Ria Yoshida: that’s why I used to argue with them
[01:31:36 AM] Ria Yoshida: and than just stopped
[01:31:40 AM] Ria Yoshida: trying to accept
[01:31:52 AM] Ria Yoshida: when some how that translated into me
[01:31:52 AM] Prasand J.: either that or trying to avoid
[01:32:00 AM] Ria Yoshida: …ah
[01:32:05 AM] Ria Yoshida: yea, avoid :P
[01:32:18 AM] Prasand J.: truth, takes awhile to acknowledge
[01:32:23 AM] Ria Yoshida: lol
[01:32:25 AM] Ria Yoshida: damn it
[01:32:29 AM] Ria Yoshida: oops
[01:32:38 AM] Ria Yoshida: no judge
[01:32:43 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[01:32:58 AM] Prasand J.: it’s about breaking habits
[01:33:11 AM] Prasand J.: one can’t expect to do it overnight
[01:33:38 AM] Ria Yoshida: ://////
[01:33:54 AM] Ria Yoshida: trueee

[01:34:15 AM] Ria Yoshida: but I want results now with out all the hard work!!!
[01:34:17 AM] Ria Yoshida: eh
[01:34:23 AM] Ria Yoshida: *namaste*
[01:34:55 AM] Ria Yoshida: i do get enjoyment out of work htough
[01:34:57 AM] Ria Yoshida: now…
[01:35:10 AM] Ria Yoshida: it’s getting to ‘know’ myself
[01:35:15 AM] Ria Yoshida: my capabilities
[01:35:18 AM] Prasand J.: =)
[01:35:33 AM] Ria Yoshida: even with the physical
[01:35:45 AM] Ria Yoshida: remember how freak’n lazy I was…. am???
[01:35:51 AM] Ria Yoshida: welp, I love me yoga and pilates
[01:35:56 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[01:35:58 AM] Ria Yoshida: stretching and moving
[01:35:59 AM] Ria Yoshida: even sex
[01:36:15 AM] Ria Yoshida: dude….. i should just show you my evolvement!
[01:36:20 AM] Ria Yoshida: you’ll be so proud!
[01:36:23 AM] Ria Yoshida: lol
[01:36:25 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[01:36:31 AM] Ria Yoshida: men run from me now
[01:36:40 AM] Prasand J.: lmfao
[01:36:40 AM] Ria Yoshida: before they used to attack

[01:38:06 AM] Ria Yoshida: oh how pain can be so pleasurable….. :D
[01:38:22 AM] Ria Yoshida: messy, dirty, risky, perverted… wahahahahaha
[01:38:42 AM] Ria Yoshida: ….ok…. must stop cause I’m getting horny
[01:38:48 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[01:39:05 AM] Ria Yoshida: i’m still on my hunt to have an orgasm through intercourse though
[01:39:52 AM] Ria Yoshida: Henry was probably the perfect size but he didn’t have the stamina
[01:39:55 AM] Ria Yoshida: :/
[01:40:37 AM] Ria Yoshida: new guy is fucking huge it’s coming out of my mouth when inside
[01:40:46 AM] Ria Yoshida: ….but theres hope
[01:40:48 AM] Ria Yoshida: lol
[01:40:59 AM] Prasand J.: lol
[01:40:59 AM] Ria Yoshida: wait… hope means I doubt
[01:41:01 AM] Ria Yoshida: eh
[01:41:26 AM] Prasand J.: you’re going about it all wrong
[01:41:30 AM] Ria Yoshida: my only true love is a little plastic pink double A battery holding man made item :X
[01:41:33 AM] Prasand J.: you’re trying to change too much at once
[01:41:37 AM] Prasand J.: I told you
[01:41:41 AM] Prasand J.: first accept yourself
[01:41:48 AM] Prasand J.: what you just did
[01:41:55 AM] Prasand J.: was ridiculed yourself
[01:41:58 AM] Ria Yoshida: ….
[01:42:01 AM] Ria Yoshida: k
[01:42:08 AM] Prasand J.: it’s okay to hope
[01:42:12 AM] Prasand J.: it’s okay to doubt
[01:42:25 AM] Prasand J.: stop trying to “correct” things
[01:42:31 AM] Prasand J.: because in doing so
[01:42:38 AM] Prasand J.: you perceive them to be “wrong” (hence you’re going about it all “wrong”)
[01:42:56 AM] Ria Yoshida: you’re ‘right’
[01:43:02 AM] Ria Yoshida: habbit
[01:43:06 AM] Ria Yoshida: whew
[01:43:19 AM] Ria Yoshida: creeps up….
[01:43:27 AM] Ria Yoshida: i see the difference
[01:43:38 AM] Ria Yoshida: now its practicing the difference
[01:43:50 AM] Ria Yoshida: ….first acceptance
[01:43:56 AM] Ria Yoshida: *namaste*
[01:44:14 AM] Prasand J.: in order to accept we must see the truth
[01:44:17 AM] Prasand J.: that means
[01:44:22 AM] Prasand J.: look at the full story
[01:44:31 AM] Prasand J.: the other possibilities
[01:44:41 AM] Prasand J.: and finding the one that doesn’t change
[01:44:47 AM] Prasand J.: regardless of what we feel or think about it
[01:45:18 AM] Prasand J.: and accepting that one
[01:45:24 AM] Prasand J.: as well as the others
[01:45:53 AM] Prasand J.: it’s to see yourself from the outside in
[01:45:59 AM] Prasand J.: the same way I watch you
[01:46:04 AM] Prasand J.: and can point out things
[01:46:07 AM] Prasand J.: watch yourself
[01:46:10 AM] Prasand J.: see what you’re saying
[01:46:15 AM] Prasand J.: look at what you are doing
[01:46:20 AM] Prasand J.: and understand yourself
[01:46:35 AM] Ria Yoshida: k
[01:46:50 AM] Ria Yoshida: :)
[01:47:10 AM] Prasand J.: treat yourself like a stranger
[01:47:14 AM] Prasand J.: and get to know yourself
[01:47:58 AM] Prasand J.: here’s something else I didn’t tell you yesterday
[01:48:03 AM] Prasand J.: or whatever day that was
[01:48:07 AM] Prasand J.: it’s about truth / reality
[01:48:25 AM] Prasand J.: you asked me how does one tell what’s the truth
[01:48:29 AM] Prasand J.: however
[01:48:38 AM] Prasand J.: I told you how to find the absolute truth
[01:48:43 AM] Prasand J.: there are always three truths
[01:48:48 AM] Prasand J.: three realities
[01:49:11 AM] Ria Yoshida: it was yesterday homie… lol @ your sense of days
[01:49:15 AM] Prasand J.: your reality, my reality, and the reality which has nothing to do with either of us.
[01:49:34 AM] Prasand J.: to see the three realities / truths imagine this
[01:49:42 AM] Prasand J.: you and I are walking down the street
[01:49:47 AM] Prasand J.: we see a woman approaching us
[01:49:51 AM] Prasand J.: pushing a stroller
[01:49:54 AM] Prasand J.: one of us says
[01:50:03 AM] Prasand J.: (doesn’t matter which one)
[01:50:19 AM] Prasand J.: “she looks so sad” after seeing that she appears to be crying
[01:50:32 AM] Prasand J.: the other person says
[01:50:41 AM] Prasand J.: “she might be crying because she’s happy”
[01:50:54 AM] Prasand J.: the first person looks up into the sky and says
[01:51:09 AM] Prasand J.: “it might not be a tear at all, it might have started to rain”
[01:51:16 AM] Prasand J.: the other person looks up and says
[01:51:39 AM] Prasand J.: “it might not be rain, it might be water from the air conditioner that’s hanging out the window 15 stories above us”
[01:51:46 AM] Prasand J.: who is right?
[01:51:58 AM] Prasand J.: who’s reality is the truth?
[01:52:04 AM] Prasand J.: both of us are
[01:52:10 AM] Prasand J.: because in our own worlds
[01:52:13 AM] Prasand J.: we are right
[01:52:21 AM] Prasand J.: even if it’s speculation
[01:52:23 AM] Prasand J.: however
[01:52:27 AM] Prasand J.: what’s the third reality
[01:52:33 AM] Prasand J.: which has nothing to do with either of our biases
[01:52:37 AM] Prasand J.: that does not change
[01:52:45 AM] Prasand J.: regardless of what we want to debate
[01:52:56 AM] Prasand J.: “there’s a drop of liquid on her face”
[01:53:24 AM] Prasand J.: there is always at least three realities / truths
[01:53:31 AM] Prasand J.: the one that I was speaking of
[01:53:36 AM] Prasand J.: when you asked me how does one tell
[01:53:40 AM] Prasand J.: was the third
[01:53:50 AM] Prasand J.: the only reality which isn’t dependant upon dreams
[01:54:26 AM] Prasand J.: it is very difficult to perceive the world from the third reality
[01:54:28 AM] Prasand J.: at all times
[01:54:33 AM] Prasand J.: it may even be impossible
[01:54:43 AM] Prasand J.: because our perspective starts within ourselves
[01:54:53 AM] Prasand J.: however, the more one masters seeing the third reality
[01:55:02 AM] Prasand J.: the easier it becomes to employ that perspective
[01:56:26 AM] Ria Yoshida: and employing that perspective
[01:56:37 AM] Ria Yoshida: is working with the universe
[01:56:41 AM] Ria Yoshida: so to speak?
[01:56:50 AM] Ria Yoshida: or
[01:56:53 AM] Ria Yoshida: is just truth
[01:56:55 AM] Prasand J.: I guess one can look at it that way
[01:57:02 AM] Ria Yoshida: that is truth
[01:57:17 AM] Prasand J.: employing that perspective is to perceive the truth beyond ourselves
[01:57:17 AM] Ria Yoshida: as to the answer to my original question :)
[01:57:25 AM] Ria Yoshida: ah
[01:57:34 AM] Prasand J.: prior to that we are limited to our own truths
[01:57:39 AM] Ria Yoshida: right
[01:57:47 AM] Prasand J.: there’s two kinds of truth
[01:57:51 AM] Prasand J.: relative, and absolute
[01:58:01 AM] Ria Yoshida: yup
[01:58:22 AM] Ria Yoshida: it’s almost 2am
[01:58:34 AM] Ria Yoshida: reletive to my work performance tomorrow
[01:58:36 AM] Ria Yoshida: eh
[01:58:40 AM] Ria Yoshida: lol
[01:58:53 AM] Prasand J.: lol, derelict
[01:59:04 AM] Ria Yoshida: night night pchyan
[01:59:09 AM] Prasand J.: good night
[02:01:09 AM] *** “Ria Yoshida” signed off at Thu Nov 15 02:01:09 2007.

Session Close (Ria Yoshida): Thu Nov 15 02:01:14 2007