Sensual Philosophy …

Timeless sayings replay in my mind
as I try to decide between right and left
one choice and the next
dividing what I sense, from what makes sense
as if I don’t get it.

Shit, I probably don’t.

Turn . your . volume . up .

Have you ever been so aware of yourself that you could feel every hair on your body move?

Not too long ago, somewhere in the duration of a conversation with AlexandraAlexandra reviews, between our tangents about the movements we make, paths we take, and awareness of our state … we discussed what happens when we allow ourselves to be still. Essentially stating, that facing reality isn’t as detrimental as we often believe. On the contrary, neglecting or denying ourselves to extreme degrees can be deadly … but if we choose to perceive them, the warning signs can be seen. Have you ever had a repeating dream? If so then that was probably a sign of self neglect (or so I believe). How we are neglecting ourselves can be learned by perceiving or discerning the details of the scene. Similarly, a dream which continues at a later date may be a reflection of progression or something left unfinished. Which, although the difference between fantasy and reality relies on interpretation and / or intuition … much truth can be discovered in dreams. However, the risk and even truth itself is both awe inspiring and scary. So we cast states of denial, sometimes pridefully, and choose not to listen even when we are unconsciously screaming to ourselves for help.

How dense are we?

A question that I ask myself, as I literally feel sick to my stomach and find it hard to digest this thought process. For the most part, my actions or decisions are made based on intuition and I’m a slave to it. However, there are times like now where my values get in the way. Where I can be there for a person in need, at a price to myself and life, or leave as my intuition is trying to tell me (but that just might be fear). I’d like to believe that it’s not a matter of pride which has me avoiding my survival, but I cannot say that definitely. Afterall, “never turn away, never falter in the face of fear” was a fundamental to my mentality and being. Just the same as, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Maybe it’s just my masochistic habit. Maybe it’s completely unrealistic when I believe that everyone should be given a chance. I mean, I can see clearly how that is idealistic … but can something idealistic never be realistic? If so, who wrote that rule? I understand that rights are earned, and what we gain is deserved. However, should a person who may be harmful be turned away … just for the sake of principle or fear? In that case, wouldn’t the presence of insecurity mean that such is an egotistical perspective?

I am drawing circles of chalk, talking without solutions or conclusions …

playing another game of Scitzophrenic Tennis, obviously afraid. So for the sake of direction, and clarity let me render this base. Focus not on what is uncertain (not on the dream, but the reality), and effectively utilize what we know. Intuition is the innate understanding of what exists, will be, and existed. It is not the division between a choice and the next. It is not the presence of fear. It contains no bias and is clear. It is the truth. The divisions and lies are created in the mind as our brains egotistically try to maintain the identity of the object divided. As such, it’s not intuition which says one should leave … that’s fear and ego. For what should be always is. Though what is the case? The situation is simply, there’s a person in need and I can help. In such situations either we will appease their desires or not. Regardless of what we decide there are always repercussions. Therefore, I need only conclude if they are worthy of time, and allow what may be to be.

Which leads me to my fear.

A consequence of my action was that the conflict between me and them has permeated my other relationships. However, that’s just disassociating blame, and entering the victim’s state. The truth is, I allowed it to spread. I remained in an egotistical state, because our ego is voracious and insatiable. We can easilly decide to stop feeding our demons. So I shall. Close the eyes, clear the mind, find a point of stillness … listen. Everyone who enters our life, is worthy of time … or else, they would’ve never entered it. If I am going to be egotistical in those moments, controlling them, I do not have to remain in that state. If I choose to, I should be conscious of it and endure the consequences of my actions. However, choosing not to is as simple as finding the strength or resolve to transcend our state. We are confused simply because we want to be. Will clarity. Close the eyes, clear the mind …

find a point of stillness … listen.

duh dun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nan nan dadun nan nan *sings* show me the dirt pile and I will pray that the soul can take, three stowaways. In a passion it broke I pull the black from the grey but the soul can wait, I felt you so much today. duh dun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nan nan dadun nan nanduh dun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nan nan dadun nan nan duh dun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nuhn nuhn dadun nan nan dadun nan nan

- Prasand J.