Sensual Philosophy …

Yesterday I posted a link on TwitterTwitter for others to download SocialScopeSocialScope, a Twitter client for BlackBerryBlackBerry Rocks! smartphones. — If you haven’t downloaded it already, you can do so here:

http://www.socialscope.net/Engadget

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SocialScope is a client that I have been personally waiting for awhile. I first learned of it back when I was an avid TwitterBerry user. — I grew tired of how slow TwitterBerry was. It had not been updated recently, it lacked features I desired, and the Twitter API changes caused there to be some issues with it. I disliked having to go to Slandr in order to do the things I couldn’t with TwitterBerry (because she wasn’t as experimentally freaky). I disliked that people who were following me at times didn’t know what I was addressing (because it doesn’t include the ‘in reply to’ / threading details).

As such, I was eagerly awaiting an alternative.

Then I heard of this beauty named SocialScope, and read the reviews. I thought, “I want her!”, and in typical fashion, what I want, I seek. However, I went to her mansion the security basically said, “talk to the hand” as I sought those pearly gates. The program was in the alpha stage of development, and that testing was closed. I could only submit my name, email address, BlackBerry model, and await their acceptance.

Months passed and I heard nothing from them.

Were they prejudice? Did they turn away BlackBerry Pearls, with an upturned nose, as if we weren’t worthy of acknowledgement? Were only the elite allowed? Periodically, I climbed the gate, banged on the door, checked the windows, and backdoor. In hindsight, it’s possible that my impatience caused me to lose my position on the list; with every submit of my email address. I guess in my desperation I didn’t think of this. Oh wait, actually I did, I used a different email address each time. Regardless, I did not hear a thing from them, and after 40 days and 40 nights 40 Days and 40 Nights reviewsI saw a land unpromised, but was grateful.

That land was called: UberTwitter.

I had seen what they created, and was satisfied; maybe even in some ways elated. The interface was significantly more efficient. They really thought about a user’s interaction, and where relevant information should go. For example, click on a tweet and along with the entry it shows the details of the person that posted (location, bio, etc). For others, it included the link to the relevant tweet of that reply. We could even add our location details to an individual tweet, and / or the profile.

My gripes about it were minor.

Mostly those were in the form of branding. I disliked: the icon, that the replies didn’t integrate with the mailbox, the way it notified of new replies, the lack of a notification sound, the battery drain which prevented it from being able to remain open, the fact that when you upload an image it forwent the standard TwitPicTwitpic service I’ve become accustomed to. Instead they chose to host the images themselves.

That was fine, but by re-inventing the wheel (or wanting to keep control of their traffic), they caused fragmentation in a user’s galleries; and I’m all about consistency. I dislike fickle women. However, I’d rather make sense (to have links to what I’m replying to), and forgo the rest. Besides, I’ve already alleviated much of those things due to my relationship with TwitterBerry. I mean, it’s not like you could keep TwitterBerry running the entire time and expect to receive notices.

Even with the Alt+Escape trick.

So I resigned to using services like: TweetBeep, to notify me of replies. SocialToo, to notify me of my new followers, and unfollowers (in a daily summary, with approximate reasons the gain or loss). FriendOrFollow.com, to let me know of mutual followers, etc. I even Moniterred many things, and preferred to relax while sitting on the TweetDeckTweetDeck. — I did not need her to be running all of the time, so I surely did not need UberTwitter to do so.

I divorced TwitterBerry and moved in with my mistress.

Yet, despite the compensation it doesn’t change the fact that she was draining. So I set it to the slowest update speed and would leave, or shut her down regularly to retain my battery. During my walks, I would sometimes think about my wife. Especially, as I looked at the ugly ring my now live-in mistress had me wearing. I missed that blue “T” shaped, ghetto ring made of gold and false diamonds (depressed silver). I missed the immediate acknowledgment others would give, the moment they read: Twitter”Berry”.

She was renown, with such prestige even her name invoked acknowledgement.

Then, one day in the park, this primate gave me a banana. While I ate it, he told me that my wife had sought therapy while I was gone, and she’s much better. So immediately I went to the house, to see if that was the case. Only to see, that the situation was one of, “too little, too late.” The substance was there, but after so much plastic surgery to compensate for her deficiencies, she began to look like a crackhead to me. That woman which used to be so beautiful even with her flaws. Maybe it’s my fault for not truly appreciating; but isn’t that cliche? We don’t know what we’ve got til it’s gone.

Disappointed, I walked away.

Unwilling to make the same mistake. I came back to my mistress’ bed, felt up on her booty, and proceeded to bang her repeatedly. She didn’t complain, it was quite the opposite. However, she wondered what had gotten into me. — As we laid in exhaustion, within our pillow-talk, I told her that despite our issues, she’s good to me, and I appreciate it immensely. Granted, there still aren’t any public pictures that we’re taken together … but that’s fine. She knows at the end of the day, I will return to her.

Or at least that was until yesterday.

Call me a slut if you wish. It’s cool. But as soon as I saw the new hot chick that moved into our building, I couldn’t resist. I ran into the elevator with her, and asked what was her name.

“TweetGenius“, she exclaimed, with a raspy, yet seductive voice.

Always looking for someone to work with in fashion, I pay attention to relevant matters. I told her, I liked her style, and asked if she models. She wrote down the address to her online portfolio. I said I’d check it out when I got the chance. We parted ways, and then I rode the elevator back down (surely, I wasn’t going to go back to our apartment).

Eventually I checked it out.

She’s great, I must say. I love how she so diverse. She forgoes the usual considerations of workflow, and opts for something more dynamic. Her experience speaks for her. To be able to handle any situation. The ability to do anything from any screen. No menus necessary. She has location awareness like my mistress. Even if she only supports GPS enabled phones (and doesn’t do approximate location via cellular towers like UberTwitter). We can post such details at whim, and the readers will be presented a link to a Google Map. I would love to see someone integrate Google’s Latitude accounts (to be able to add the details to those accounts).

But for now that’s a pipe dream.

She has great skin; flawless, perfection. Polished, she reminds me a bit of my wife before her recreational drug habit. Even the ring she wears is reminiscent. Yet, she’s on another level. She uses TwitPic efficiently. Will even have such features, like groups (eventually). She seems like the one-stop solution. However, she needs work. In the elevator she told me that although she indeed does work, in this recession, it’s not too often nor as quickly (sluggish at times). Nor is it with many clients (limited to the Bold 9000, or Curve 8900).

She said she’s going to be seeking a broader range of clients. So for now she works at a lower price because she understands her current marketability and situation ($4.95 which I think is definitely worth the purchase, $9.99 after she’s available to others and thus will be in high demand). However, she’s far too good for me (Pearls and popular Curves are not supported yet, but the Curves will be in a few weeks). As such, the reality is that currently for me she’s not an option. And so, I thought I’d have to return to my mistress, who I had not seen in days. Until I walked into our building and got the mail, hoping I’d see TweetGenius again.

I opened this letter, which had no return address.

It seemed like many others before it, so I didn’t really pay it much mind (didn’t think it applied to me). In it they discussed the woman that I covetted from the distance, and her achievements. I enjoyed what I read, but thought I could only live vicariously through their experience with her. However, as usual, I tried again.

Low and behold, I was accepted!

Immediately my hedonistic ways kicked in, and I told others about the party that was happening. However, I didn’t wait for anyone. First dibs, no sloppy seconds. I ran to our apartment, shaved (cleaned out programs), made sure everything was nice and neat. Then went out the door, and headed to her mansion again. — Upon my arrival, the guards remembered me from the times before, prepared to reject me again. Hautilly I showed them my invitation.

They reluctantly let me in.

Upon entering the foyer, I noticed that it didn’t seem as glam as the outside, signs, and pictures I had seen before. Determined, I continued to explore. Functionality that was missing, they addressed in the letter, so I decided to look at the invitation again. It said something like, “all guests of Engadget we thank you for your interest, but you will not get that which they did. Or at least, not yet.”

And so I understood.

However, I knew that if they prepared something different for them … there must be another entrance. So I exited the house and checked for another door. Eventually I found one which was not at the back, but instead to the left of the main entrance, labeled: getGet Up reviews. Although I had seen this door before, I did not pay attention because it was inaccessible to me.

However, in my invitation I was provided with a key.

You have to go through the main entrance, before you’ll be granted a key (download and install the version that was linked at the beginning of this entry, in order to be able to run the program which makes you register it / create a user account / login that you can later use on the site, and download the latest or previous versions). Then dust yourself off because that entrance is quite dirty (uninstall it). Then proceed to the next entrance. Which upon opening you’ll see the difference.

The utter decadence, and perfect contribution to your lack of work productivity.

She’s no TweetGenius, that chick in the elevator is a breed of her own. However, she has class, and respects those who came before (TwitPic). She may not let you proclaim your location, because she doesn’t like to cause a scene (no GPS updates). However, she’s more experienced and as such, has already achieved that which TweetGenius desires (grouping). She’ll give clarity to those who listen to many voices. Furthermore, she permits attendees from other lands (Facebook), and you can interact with them conveniently.

Ultimately I think she’s great.

Definitely my speed, and her branding isn’t half bad. In ways her ring suits. I even left her doing her own thing (running, and she wasn’t plugged in). I fell asleep and when I had awoken, I realized she stayed by my side the entire time (barely used any battery life). However, other’s have claimed that she’s very draining. Maybe it’s because she was just acclimated to me (BlackBerry Pearl). Maybe it’s because of how I dressed (my settings).

So I will tell you those things, to use if you are too having a problem.

Public replies: alert (all others: disabled), Stream view: extended, Twitter Name: username, Escape to Tabs: checked, Connection: TCP, TwitPic Connection: TCP, Update Rate: Auto, Refresh On Launch: checked. In order to use TCP connections, you have to set your BlackBerry’s APN settings. If you have a WI-FI enabled BlackBerry, switch those connection settings to Auto (or else it won’t use wi-fi when available).

Hopefully she will satisfy you, like she has me. If not, there’s the others listed.

- Prasand J.

(if you have difficulty with the Engadget invite, and know me personally. Let me know, I’ll give you another method to download and register).