They say that the way to a woman’s heart is through laughter. I believe, for most that is true, and today I realized another level reflecting what that truly means.
—

Earlier I was on the phone with someone. She, like many believe I take life too seriously. My usual laughter about the things that upset others, does not negate what they perceive. I indeed take life seriously, and in comparison with how they want in that moment, it is too seriously. I do so, because simply … I love life.

Imagine that someone claims to love you, but never takes you seriously.

When we love someone we are appreciative, accepting, understanding, and supportive of them. If we ever find ourselves stressed out by someone we love, that moment of stress is our resistance and is actually the absence of love. It is to shun what we otherwise would embrace, if we loved in that moment. It’s a delusion to think we can love while rejecting that object of our love. We only reject the things we hate / dislike, even if we only hate it for a moment.

All stress comes from resistance.

The person who worries about life is often perceived as one who takes life too seriously. Imagine that you tell someone you are going to try to achieve some goal, and their first reaction is to laugh. You might perceive them to be not taking you seriously. Their second reaction is to worry, and that reflects that they believe you really will try. As such, they took your statement seriously. However, have they truly taken ‘you’ seriously, if they already perceive that you will fail or become hurt if you try?

If we truly (purely) trust and believe in someone, we will not worry.

If you trust your ability to endure and / or make it through, you will not worry about yourself. As such, if someone worries about you, they do not truly (purely) trust you. They have not truly taken you as a person, seriously; they merely took your statement seriously. They believe it, but not in you.

That is what it means to truly take something seriously.

The preceding does not mean that the person who is stressed out by life, does not take life seriously. They indeed take life seriously. Their stress is because they merely do not take themselves seriously. They do not believe in their ability to endure, or get through whatever it is that stresses them out. They worry about the pain, or other things.

When someone says another takes life too seriously, either they do not truly (purely) love life, or they simply mean that the other is stressing themselves out. If the other is not actually worrying, then they are projecting. If they are projecting, then while they perceive the latter, it is actually the former. In other words, they are saying the other is stressing themselves out but the truth is the other is stressing them out, or it would be stressful for them.

They do not know how to handle life well.

Personally, I have literally an  insane amount of love for life, and faith in myself. Therefore, I do not worry about life, and the things which stress out most others, I find amusing. Another assumption some make about being serious is that it must be done straight-faced / stoically. That is a delusion. Amusement does not inherently mean one is not taking it seriously. A person can truly believe another means what they say, and still find it funny. You can ask them to do something with you, they can laugh at the situation and still say, “okay, let’s.”

“This should be interesting.”

When life does not worry or stress us, we do not seek to escape it in any capacity. We will embrace the many levels of it. However, if we find ourselves not wanting to get too deeply involved in life, that indicates worry and stress; an absence of love for life. Those that truly value life, appreciate every level they perceive. That does not mean they will search for / seek every level, they will just appreciate whatever comes. However, some people are flighty. Those who feel the need to always be busy are an example of such. The more we approach that state, the flightier we are.

Avoidance is an act of fear.

Some of us are taught or told that stress is something to be avoided (feared). I do not disagree with that, however, I do not inherently agree either. Personally, I would rather deal with something than avoid it, but if a person cannot truly handle something, then perhaps it should be avoided. However, avoidance never solves anything; it is a temporary measure. If we desire solutions, then avoiding is not conducive to our desire. We must find the resolve to truly pursue desires. In that case, until it is proven that we cannot truly handle it, we should believe in our ability to do so, and actually try to.

Bravery or fearlessness is required.

However, what happens when you have a person that cannot control what they feel, because a large part of what they feel is who they are, and hard-coded into their being? Said person is subject to reaction, and if their reactions are usually negative, they are left to either embrace it, try to instill positive reactions, or simply avoid it. Therein lies what happens with many women.

Women are naturally emotional beings.

They are also inherently driven, due to their nature of desiring. It is for this reason that there are more women in universities than men, because women in general desire more than men do. Desiring something better or worse than what is, is superfluous when we are truly satisfied with what is. Thus, dreams are born of dissatisfaction. If we are not dissatisfied with what is, we merely perceive what is.

That is not solely the case with women.

People in general desire more than they have. That desire births action, joy and misery. Without desire, we would merely die. As such, desire is not absolutely bad nor good. It is a necessary function of life, and it just is. Desire is a major topic in Buddhism. The understanding is that desire births misery, but it does not state that desire is bad. It proposes the irony of, if we ‘desire’ to not be miserable, then we should strive (desire) to remove desire.

It is not possible to remove all desires and still live, because desire / fear are necessary to live. However, in Buddhism transcendence is key. We return to this plane of existence because of our desire for material existence (our fear of not existing). In removing all desire, we cease to exist materially (perceivably, we die permanently). However, that is beyond the scope of this. The point of this is simply my realization of why it is that she, or you would rather play than be serious.

She or you, just do not want to be sad, and if you are not playing then you just might be, because you do not purely love life. That is only the case if you would ‘rather’ play than be serious. Playing, is a part of life. So a person who would rather not play, also does not truly love life. Such a person tries to limit their experience, not wanting the perceivable bad that unavoidably comes with the good. And if he can perpetually put a smile on her face, he will undoubtedly win her heart. For she appreciates dreams more than reality, and would rather live the fantasy that is weaved.  — Such women are more prone to perceive life to be magical, construing it to be a gift, instead of perceiving it to just be, life.

Regardless, of if that is what it is.

That is why some women consistently end up with men that lie to them. It’s not that all people lie so much, but rather, they are attracted to the fantasy; addicted to being ‘happy’ even if it means things are not real / fabricated / a lie. They do not really want to know the truth regardless of what they delude. The proof is in their actions, lies appeal more than reality. If you are such a person, to prove it just pay attention to what happens when someone tells you the truth, versus when someone tells you something fantastical. If the truth seems like a chore, then it even more so the case.

A rock is a rock, but it can still be valued.

Fortunately, I maintain at least dual views on all things. I perceive life to just be life, and something to be cherished. Both views contribute to my love for life. However, because I love life so much, I prefer to not ‘exist’ in fantasies, and I am not the type to weave them. People dream based on things I say, but the things I say transpired in actuality. They even dream about the way I say it, though I speak calmly and am almost always relaxed. Simply put, I am not a man many woman can love, or that will win their heart. I used to be one who could sweep a woman off her feet, but that is no longer the case. It stopped being the case, when I began to truly love and appreciate life in all its flavors.

And I have no desire to win the hearts of many.

Fall in love with me? If it happens, so be it; I will appreciate that part of life if it comes. Until then, you either love me or you do not, and I am satisfied with your love or absence of it. Maybe one day, I will be able to perpetually put a smile on the face of a woman I love. Maybe one day my conversations will tickle her fancy for fantasy. Maybe I will merely interact with women that love life, truly; or solely with women that have a kind of stillness and are less reactionary. They do exist, after all most who would read this are very much like that.

Since, if you were not this would be too serious / deep.

Nonetheless, you can figure out how much you are such a person, by simply asking yourself, “is there anything about life that bothers me?” The more things about life that bother you, the less you love life. Such is also reflected if you ever desire to change aspects of life or the world. If so, then you do not solely appreciate / love life; you do not purely find it to be beautiful. Ironically, I even love (appreciate) the things I find to be ugly ‘in’ life, but nothing about life itself do I find ugly. All of life is beautiful to me, the death, sadness, pain, joy, etc.; I do not wish that any of it did not exist.

It is because of that many perceive my love for life to be to an insane. “How can he enjoy knowing people are dying? Does it not sadden him?” I can, do, and no, it does not. It’s a part of life, and life is beautiful. Sanity to most people is finding much of life to be ugly; irrespective of the fact that all of life has a purpose. Sanity is to discard around 50% of existence. For everything most people enjoy, they have an opposite that they do not. Sanity is arrogantly finding life to be wrong, instead of accepting it; because most actually enjoy being stressed-out by it, and so they resist ‘life’ itself, as if, they can actually win. I take it seriously, but it still amuses me, lol.

How could that not?

Despite my perception, I do not interact with women who truly love life. In fact, I have never met one. They all enjoy living fantasies to some degree. Perhaps, women cannot ever be so extreme. If so, that’s fine since I do not think they should be. A still woman in my eyes is one who has lost the very thing that I find to be beautiful about women (their energy). So despite my preferences for myself, I actually prefer for women to not be like me.

Society is fine as it is.

You are fine, as you are. We either fit, or we do not. — I will never stop loving life, in all of my capacity; I will never stop appreciating all of its beauty. However, maybe one day I will just be more diverse in the things that interest me; and maybe one day you will take life more seriously. Should some day, we be able to “live” together; I sincerely look forward to truly interacting / sharing with you.

- Prasand J.

The way to a woman’s heart is through laughter,
unless she truly loves life / you
which then, the way is through yours
for truly being yourself will make her smile.

Some people believe, that if you have no regrets, you have not lived, and while I understand the perspective, I think that such a perception is maintained by one who doesn’t truly appreciate the present. — Personally, I’ve taken the chances, the risks, and despite my recklessness, I have no regrets. My life and actions weren’t flawless, but I’m satisfied with the outcome.

I’ve made many mistakes. I’ve hurt those that I previously perceived to be undeserving of those pains I created. I’ve felt much sorrow, shed many tears, and repented for my sins. I’ve even structured my life, in such a way that I could make up for atrocities I’ve committed. — Despite those actions, if I had the chance, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Or at least, that’s what I used to think.

In life, every action has a reaction; every single thing we do or did leads us to the present. A single shift in movement could create a very different existence. — If we truly appreciate where we are, why would we want to change that which we enjoy? We often ask for things, that once we get it, we realize we didn’t truly want it. We didn’t understand, what it meant to have it.

Regardless, some desire that difference.

We’ve all thought something akin to, “maybe if I didn’t say that to her/him we would still be together”, and despite our fantasy of what should be, things don’t always work out as we perceive.  It’s possible that things would’ve been ‘better’, it’s possible it might’ve been ‘worse’ and ended regardless. — I percieve, what’s meant to be, is and will be. That regardless of how much we try to defy and fight life, things that aren’t meant to work out … won’t. — So although I’ve had such thoughts, I’ve never harped on it.

Instead, I reminisce, smile, and then keep it moving.

Maybe my stance is one of fear, maybe my actions are fueled by it. The lack of desire to break my comfort; since afterall, I’m content with what exists. My hands-on approach to life, and my recklessness doesn’t negate that possibility. The fact is, I’m hands-on with some things, even most things … hands-off with few, and still those few could be because I’m afraid. The irony is, my hands-on aspects could be fueled by fear also.

Regardless, this isn’t about the dissolution of my delusions.

Rather, this is about sharing a different conclusion. — In looking at the things I’ve achieved, and lost, the costs I’ve paid, and choices I’ve made … I realize that there is something that I’d change. — This desire didn’t exist in me previously, but came with maturity and security. I understand that things could be much ‘better’, for others, yet ‘harder’ for me; that maybe it could result conversely.

And yet, I don’t mean it any less.

For if, I could do it all again … I’d surrender more to love. And since, changing the past is not in my conscious abilities, I’ve instead decided to apply it to the present. Even if I’m abused, even if I ‘lose’, completely … for those I love, I will give up:

nothing less, than everything.

I do not believe this is the ‘right’ thing to do, nor do I perceive it’s what you should do. Not at all, this is simply my desire, and now, my preference … because I believe, you, are not worth … less.

Believe what you want.

- Prasand J.

Yesterday I posted a link on Twitter for others to download SocialScope, a Twitter client for BlackBerry smartphones. — If you haven’t downloaded it already, you can do so here:

http://www.socialscope.net/Engadget

—–

SocialScope is a client that I have been personally waiting for awhile. I first learned of it back when I was an avid TwitterBerry user. — I grew tired of how slow TwitterBerry was. It had not been updated recently, it lacked features I desired, and the Twitter API changes caused there to be some issues with it. I disliked having to go to Slandr in order to do the things I couldn’t with TwitterBerry (because she wasn’t as experimentally freaky). I disliked that people who were following me at times didn’t know what I was addressing (because it doesn’t include the ‘in reply to’ / threading details).

As such, I was eagerly awaiting an alternative.

Then I heard of this beauty named SocialScope, and read the reviews. I thought, “I want her!”, and in typical fashion, what I want, I seek. However, I went to her mansion the security basically said, “talk to the hand” as I sought those pearly gates. The program was in the alpha stage of development, and that testing was closed. I could only submit my name, email address, BlackBerry model, and await their acceptance.

Months passed and I heard nothing from them.

Were they prejudice? Did they turn away BlackBerry Pearls, with an upturned nose, as if we weren’t worthy of acknowledgement? Were only the elite allowed? Periodically, I climbed the gate, banged on the door, checked the windows, and backdoor. In hindsight, it’s possible that my impatience caused me to lose my position on the list; with every submit of my email address. I guess in my desperation I didn’t think of this. Oh wait, actually I did, I used a different email address each time. Regardless, I did not hear a thing from them, and after 40 days and 40 nights I saw a land unpromised, but was grateful.

That land was called: UberTwitter.

I had seen what they created, and was satisfied; maybe even in some ways elated. The interface was significantly more efficient. They really thought about a user’s interaction, and where relevant information should go. For example, click on a tweet and along with the entry it shows the details of the person that posted (location, bio, etc). For others, it included the link to the relevant tweet of that reply. We could even add our location details to an individual tweet, and / or the profile.

My gripes about it were minor.

Mostly those were in the form of branding. I disliked: the icon, that the replies didn’t integrate with the mailbox, the way it notified of new replies, the lack of a notification sound, the battery drain which prevented it from being able to remain open, the fact that when you upload an image it forwent the standard TwitPic service I’ve become accustomed to. Instead they chose to host the images themselves.

That was fine, but by re-inventing the wheel (or wanting to keep control of their traffic), they caused fragmentation in a user’s galleries; and I’m all about consistency. I dislike fickle women. However, I’d rather make sense (to have links to what I’m replying to), and forgo the rest. Besides, I’ve already alleviated much of those things due to my relationship with TwitterBerry. I mean, it’s not like you could keep TwitterBerry running the entire time and expect to receive notices.

Even with the Alt+Escape trick.

So I resigned to using services like: TweetBeep, to notify me of replies. SocialToo, to notify me of my new followers, and unfollowers (in a daily summary, with approximate reasons the gain or loss). FriendOrFollow.com, to let me know of mutual followers, etc. I even Moniterred many things, and preferred to relax while sitting on the TweetDeck. — I did not need her to be running all of the time, so I surely did not need UberTwitter to do so.

I divorced TwitterBerry and moved in with my mistress.

Yet, despite the compensation it doesn’t change the fact that she was draining. So I set it to the slowest update speed and would leave, or shut her down regularly to retain my battery. During my walks, I would sometimes think about my wife. Especially, as I looked at the ugly ring my now live-in mistress had me wearing. I missed that blue “T” shaped, ghetto ring made of gold and false diamonds (depressed silver). I missed the immediate acknowledgment others would give, the moment they read: Twitter”Berry”.

She was renown, with such prestige even her name invoked acknowledgement.

Then, one day in the park, this primate gave me a banana. While I ate it, he told me that my wife had sought therapy while I was gone, and she’s much better. So immediately I went to the house, to see if that was the case. Only to see, that the situation was one of, “too little, too late.” The substance was there, but after so much plastic surgery to compensate for her deficiencies, she began to look like a crackhead to me. That woman which used to be so beautiful even with her flaws. Maybe it’s my fault for not truly appreciating; but isn’t that cliche? We don’t know what we’ve got til it’s gone.

Disappointed, I walked away.

Unwilling to make the same mistake. I came back to my mistress’ bed, felt up on her booty, and proceeded to bang her repeatedly. She didn’t complain, it was quite the opposite. However, she wondered what had gotten into me. — As we laid in exhaustion, within our pillow-talk, I told her that despite our issues, she’s good to me, and I appreciate it immensely. Granted, there still aren’t any public pictures that we’re taken together … but that’s fine. She knows at the end of the day, I will return to her.

Or at least that was until yesterday.

Call me a slut if you wish. It’s cool. But as soon as I saw the new hot chick that moved into our building, I couldn’t resist. I ran into the elevator with her, and asked what was her name.

“TweetGenius“, she exclaimed, with a raspy, yet seductive voice.

Always looking for someone to work with in fashion, I pay attention to relevant matters. I told her, I liked her style, and asked if she models. She wrote down the address to her online portfolio. I said I’d check it out when I got the chance. We parted ways, and then I rode the elevator back down (surely, I wasn’t going to go back to our apartment).

Eventually I checked it out.

She’s great, I must say. I love how she so diverse. She forgoes the usual considerations of workflow, and opts for something more dynamic. Her experience speaks for her. To be able to handle any situation. The ability to do anything from any screen. No menus necessary. She has location awareness like my mistress. Even if she only supports GPS enabled phones (and doesn’t do approximate location via cellular towers like UberTwitter). We can post such details at whim, and the readers will be presented a link to a Google Map. I would love to see someone integrate Google’s Latitude accounts (to be able to add the details to those accounts).

But for now that’s a pipe dream.

She has great skin; flawless, perfection. Polished, she reminds me a bit of my wife before her recreational drug habit. Even the ring she wears is reminiscent. Yet, she’s on another level. She uses TwitPic efficiently. Will even have such features, like groups (eventually). She seems like the one-stop solution. However, she needs work. In the elevator she told me that although she indeed does work, in this recession, it’s not too often nor as quickly (sluggish at times). Nor is it with many clients (limited to the Bold 9000, or Curve 8900).

She said she’s going to be seeking a broader range of clients. So for now she works at a lower price because she understands her current marketability and situation ($4.95 which I think is definitely worth the purchase, $9.99 after she’s available to others and thus will be in high demand). However, she’s far too good for me (Pearls and popular Curves are not supported yet, but the Curves will be in a few weeks). As such, the reality is that currently for me she’s not an option. And so, I thought I’d have to return to my mistress, who I had not seen in days. Until I walked into our building and got the mail, hoping I’d see TweetGenius again.

I opened this letter, which had no return address.

It seemed like many others before it, so I didn’t really pay it much mind (didn’t think it applied to me). In it they discussed the woman that I covetted from the distance, and her achievements. I enjoyed what I read, but thought I could only live vicariously through their experience with her. However, as usual, I tried again.

Low and behold, I was accepted!

Immediately my hedonistic ways kicked in, and I told others about the party that was happening. However, I didn’t wait for anyone. First dibs, no sloppy seconds. I ran to our apartment, shaved (cleaned out programs), made sure everything was nice and neat. Then went out the door, and headed to her mansion again. — Upon my arrival, the guards remembered me from the times before, prepared to reject me again. Hautilly I showed them my invitation.

They reluctantly let me in.

Upon entering the foyer, I noticed that it didn’t seem as glam as the outside, signs, and pictures I had seen before. Determined, I continued to explore. Functionality that was missing, they addressed in the letter, so I decided to look at the invitation again. It said something like, “all guests of Engadget we thank you for your interest, but you will not get that which they did. Or at least, not yet.”

And so I understood.

However, I knew that if they prepared something different for them … there must be another entrance. So I exited the house and checked for another door. Eventually I found one which was not at the back, but instead to the left of the main entrance, labeled: get. Although I had seen this door before, I did not pay attention because it was inaccessible to me.

However, in my invitation I was provided with a key.

You have to go through the main entrance, before you’ll be granted a key (download and install the version that was linked at the beginning of this entry, in order to be able to run the program which makes you register it / create a user account / login that you can later use on the site, and download the latest or previous versions). Then dust yourself off because that entrance is quite dirty (uninstall it). Then proceed to the next entrance. Which upon opening you’ll see the difference.

The utter decadence, and perfect contribution to your lack of work productivity.

She’s no TweetGenius, that chick in the elevator is a breed of her own. However, she has class, and respects those who came before (TwitPic). She may not let you proclaim your location, because she doesn’t like to cause a scene (no GPS updates). However, she’s more experienced and as such, has already achieved that which TweetGenius desires (grouping). She’ll give clarity to those who listen to many voices. Furthermore, she permits attendees from other lands (Facebook), and you can interact with them conveniently.

Ultimately I think she’s great.

Definitely my speed, and her branding isn’t half bad. In ways her ring suits. I even left her doing her own thing (running, and she wasn’t plugged in). I fell asleep and when I had awoken, I realized she stayed by my side the entire time (barely used any battery life). However, other’s have claimed that she’s very draining. Maybe it’s because she was just acclimated to me (BlackBerry Pearl). Maybe it’s because of how I dressed (my settings).

So I will tell you those things, to use if you are too having a problem.

Public replies: alert (all others: disabled), Stream view: extended, Twitter Name: username, Escape to Tabs: checked, Connection: TCP, TwitPic Connection: TCP, Update Rate: Auto, Refresh On Launch: checked. In order to use TCP connections, you have to set your BlackBerry’s APN settings. If you have a WI-FI enabled BlackBerry, switch those connection settings to Auto (or else it won’t use wi-fi when available).

Hopefully she will satisfy you, like she has me. If not, there’s the others listed.

- Prasand J.

(if you have difficulty with the Engadget invite, and know me personally. Let me know, I’ll give you another method to download and register).